i don't mind the rain

as long as i can stay home on the couch.

i think it was determined this weekend that parkway tavern's surf and turf poboy is the leading poboy of new orleans. according to the everetts' palates. sophisticated as they are.

it has been raining like nobody's business. so today, matt and i watched some "arrested development" while the rain pitter-pattered. i got my favorite blanket, moved our unphotogenic dog out of matt's lap (sorry, ella. NOT!) and snuggled til i fell asleep.

i'm sorry but i have to say it.

five years ago, i was in hawaii. watching new orleans wash away from our condo tv. i got the same feeling i had on 9/11.

i stared at the tv.

"ok, what?"

.........

"ok, i'm sorry, what?"

my comprehension skills were not up to par.

but katrina-whore definitely leaves a cloudy film on my hawaiian vacay. maybe on some level i knew that i'd one day call new orleans "home."

this was totally supposed to be a temporary stop for us. but we went to harbor about a year ago this month and the sermon was basically about urging students and young couples to stay in the city. after their degrees/internships/summer jobs were over.

i took it as a sign. despite the craters in the roads, the unfavorable schools, traffic and crime, i had fallen in love with her. and i decided i wanted to stay here, as long as the good Lord saw fit.

my friend, meredith, said in her blog that "i've heard it said that the longer you live in new orleans, the more unfit you are to live anywhere else."

i feel that way. if i moved right now, i'd end up making everyone hate me cause i'd never shut up about the food or mardi gras or my saints.

i can't say enough about the food. or sipping cocktails on the porch of the columns. or the ambiance at the green goddess with it's copperplate ceilings and teeny tiny tables. how hansen's doesn't have air conditioning. but you can air condition your stomach. the many chandeliers at loa and how they play arcade fire and band of horses while i sip my lemondrop on a velvet chair.

how everyone looks good in black and gold. and people take their dogs everywhere. how old metairie road is like my own personal princess land. and magazine st has more little stores and shops than i can count.

and amazing gelato.

how the dumpest looking little shacks have the absolute best food. and the waitresses call you "honey," dear" and "baby."

our friends here are amazing. we love them so much and they've made my life complete.

i can't see myself living anywhere else.

i love my city.

my top 5 michael scott moments

i was originally going to do a top 10 list, but i decided top 5 is more prestigious.

i don't know if "the office" will live without michael gary scott.

5) in the episode "performance review" where pam is microwaving popcorn; michael looks at the camera and whispers, "ahhh i'm hungry." and it's ridiculously fun to quote.

4) in "weight loss: part 2" michael pitches a little hissy fit after one of the weigh-ins and the way he flaps his little hands like a 5 year old cracks me up.

3) any and every time he sings.

2) his solo dance in "booze cruise." very fun to imitate.

1) prison mike in "the convict." gruel, dimentos, eating your own hair...

i definitely have top 5 dwight and top 5 andy moments. i just have to narrow them down.

"that's what she said."

i own it

back in the days of yore, i tried to be one of those people that's "hard to read" or "put up walls" because i thought it'd be cool if someone was like, "man, i wonder what happened to make her so closed off" blah blah blah.

i don't know if i really wanted to be seen that way or if it's because i was surrounded by fake people and thought that was a good way to be fake.

the truth is i'm a freakin open book. i'll tell you whatever you want to know, good or bad. because i don't feel like i should be ashamed of things i've said or done because i've learned specific things from each and every one. and i want to share what i've learned with friends going through similar times but i feel it's pivotal to also divulge some background so they don't think i'm some self-righteous quack.

plus people that are too guarded just get on my nerves.

do i strike you as judgmental? cause i like to think that i'm far from it. because 1) i've probably done the same thing or something similar and 2) i'm not God.

i spent too much time surrounded by fake, judgmental people. so i'm determined to be the opposite. i like being real, even when it's not pretty. and i feel like that was stifled in the past by people who judged me for being me.

awkward, uncensored, clumsy me.

but that is no more. and it only took ~27 years.

heart + sleeve

a confession

i've meant to post this before but in case you haven't noticed, i have a tendency to be lazy.

but i think it's time that i come out and say that i have some weird, morbid obsession with disturbing movies.

and i have for a while.

i'm a sick, sick soul.

i have no problem with violence as long as it's not someone getting the crap beat out of them. or curb-stomped, a la american history x.

in city of god, little kids are forced to shoot each other. i didn't care.

didn't really find a clockwork orange very violent or disturbing, but we've been wayyyyy desensitized to violence since the 70s.

i've watched pieces of cannibal holocaust but i REFUSE to watch the scenes with real animal killings.

even i draw the line somewhere. and the line is animals dying.

and i also couldn't finish i spit on your grave.

see i have a soul! i'm human!

disturbing could also mean just plain freaky, i.e. eraserhead, audition, freaks.

or just plain gross. see pink flamingos, gummo, salo.

i know entirely too much about this genre of film. and no one to share it with.

currently craving

- a brocato's cannoli

- crabby jack's shrimp poboy

- green goddess sweet potato biscuits

- stella's potato soup (with bacon lardons and caviar creme fraiche)

- kupcake factory's wedding cake cupcake ( and reese's cupcake)

- banana pudding from my own two man-hands

- ben and jerry's sweet cream and cookies

- a margarita from juan's flying burrito

- a frothy monkey mocha

- jacques-imo's cornbread muffins drenched in garlic butter

- upperline's honey pecan bread pudding (with toffee sauce)

- brennan's brandy milk punch

- zea's roast garlic hummus

- tabouleh from lebanon's

- the drew bree's cupcake from bee sweet cupcakes

- a sidecar from swizzle stick

- the flaming torch's french onion soup

did i mention i want these all at once?

*EDIT*

- and a baked potato from port of call

and a swamp reuben from the avenue

ok that's all.

and a macaroon from sucre.

bah!

that picture up there makes me laugh every time i look at it.

anyway.

i've really never been this happy. that i can remember. God has placed some super great people in my life lately and for the first time in 26 years, i feel like i'm on level ground, friend-wise. i'm not trying to break into an already tight-knit group. i'm not trying to downplay my likes and opinions. i'm not in competition. it feels really good. although when i think about being 26 (and 3/4) and just now developing these kind of friendships, it dampens my enthusiasm. i wish i'd had these friends all along and not wasted time trying to mold myself into whatever friend i thought i needed to be.

but c'est la vie.

i'm glad to have people around me that i adore. and people that aren't always around me that i adore.

plus, i have a really freakin cute little dog.

i keep finding more and more reasons to not leave new orleans. including the new orleans rum factory. who gives lots of tastes of rummy yum. i mean, yummy rum. get it? get it??

i suck.

i just took an approx. 2 1/2 hour nap, so my MS happy and i can concentrate on this re-run of "whale wars." those japanese need their ass kicked.

1000 facepalms

ugh.

i've been way more socially awkward than usual this week. it physically hurts me sometimes. i talk when i shouldn't and don't talk when i should. like always, i'm gonna blame hormones.

i almost said "i'm gonna blame whale wars." cause that's what's on tv right now.

father's day is sunday. wish i could see my daddy. he's pretty much the best. he makes everything ok.

and he sang at my wedding. and i still tear up when i think about it.

i'm pretty sure ella isn't gonna do anything for matt for father's day. she's too spoiled and ungrateful.

omg the coffee at work is ridiculous. i can't handle chicory. it's like sludge. i put two creamers in it and it doesn't even change colors. i get obscene amounts of work done though. i have a dream job. good hours. tons of holidays. huge office and desk. amazing coworkers. the Big Guy really outdid himself on that mother.

holy crap! now there's some show on about lizards. it's one of my worst nightmares!!!!!!!!!