i need to rant

i'm not really a ranter. i don't get upset or annoyed to the point of ranting very oft. poor ju-dat has borne the brunt of my ranting today. yet i find i need to rant more.

so i follow numerous blogs of people from high school/college. i'm not normally a jealous person. i had friends in junior high that i wanted to dress like, but usually i was ok with the way things were. our current living situation may have something to do with this...

i will follow my rant with an anti-rant so that you don't feel like you have to offer me any pity.

it bugs me that some of these "old friends" i follow would look down on me because we're living in a tiny, old apartment right now. i know they would because they looked down on me in high school for putting packaged lunch meat on my sandwiches instead of "deli meat." i'm serious.

if they still gave a rat's ass about me, they would be sitting on their plush, luxurious leather couch, reading this from their macbook. thinking "bless her little heart...where are her tori burch flats???? her prada bag????? omg is that from f21?!?!?!" trust me.

i'm annoyed that so many people i know have felt content to stay in their safe little arkansas/louisiana bubble (not you, t) and yet i know they would judge me for the decision we made to live in new orleans and now portland. we don't have a microwave right now. we live beside a shooting rage so we hear gunshots constantly. they wouldn't put up with this kind of living situation because they've never had to because they always had their plush, cushy nerf life.

i could have that life too, if i wanted to live in a craphole city with no culture and nothing to offer. that's the trade off. big, beautiful house...suck-face USA city.

i didn't want to make that trade.

i chose to cook with vintage pyrex instead of stainless all-clad. to wear a vintage robert david morton dress to lunch instead of diane von furstenberg. to live in a tiny apartment with no furniture because it's in an awesome city that i love. and i'm not the only one. your $250,000 house would easily cost half a million dollars here...because people WANT to live here. no one wants to live in poopville, arkansas. that's why you got 3500 sq ft for $280,000. not because you're an awesome person with an awesome life.

my life has always veered away from what everyone else was doing and i used to hate it. but the life i've gotten to live in 28+ years more than trumps your perfectly manicured lawn and overpriced car. sometimes i just have to remind myself of that.