Wednesday, January 13, 2010

may not be the best outlet

but seriously. it's been on my chest for a long time.

i am angry. ANGRY. and i don't really know how to get over it. you know how you can keep playing hurtful events over in your head and you just get angry all over again? reopens the wound.

that's me. i think about it almost every night when i have my "me" time. and i get wicked pissed off every time. maybe i don't want to get over it...some people like holding a grudge.

BUT.

it's really really good that i got away. the distance has done little to unpiss me off but it hasn't been exacerbated by having to be in close proximity and make nice. oh i could just gag.

i should've grown a pair a long time ago and nipped it in the bud. but i was still "doormat sommer" who just wanted to be liked.

now i'm close to being "eff off sommer." i care less and less every day what people think of me. a priceless trait i'm learning from matt. i may take it a little further than him. i need to learn moderation.

anyway. i kept most of the details private on purpose. i'm not one to air my dirty laundry on the internet. there's just a person out there that my heart is harboring some serious anger towards and has been for a while. and i honestly don't think i'm ready to let it go.

i'm drinking wine and watching "the real world." it's hard to not be dramatic.

i can sincerely say right now that i don't think i would really care if i never spoke to you again.

2 comments:

  1. you know what i think...i think i like this eff off sommer. she is more my type.

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  2. btw...a kid was at my house the other night visiting my sister claiming to be your best friends brother. from JC I think...the six degrees of sommer everett!

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