Seeing as how I started this blog as a still-angsty, yet aging newlywed, I figure it's time to move on to the simpler blog life. Where I may actually blog. There's no posts currently, but add me to your feed!
www.hesmylittlebird.wordpress.com
Tuesday, January 27, 2015
Tuesday, December 9, 2014
Albums of 2014
Since the beginning of 2014 was a fuzzy cloud of puke, twitchy eyes, bloody lips and sciatic pain and the middle of 2014 was a baby haze of snuggles, sleep deprivation, The Hills and moving, I didn't get to really listen to any new music until I came back to work in October. I made a playlist of these 3 albums and listen to it non-stop.
First is Banks' album Goddess. I don't normally listen to solo artists because I'm a snob, but I love her very much and when I had a cold last week, I pretended my sexy phlegm made me sound like her.
Read: It did not.
Favorite tracks:
Someone New
Brain
Under the Table
Ok, fine. This is a 2013 album, but I got behind during all the baby-havin. This is Chvrches The Bones of What You Believe and I normally do NOT enjoy any kind of electronica, dream pop, yet I sincerely enjoy this album and her tiny, tiny Scottish voice.
Favorite tracks:
The Mother We Share
Recover
Tether
Royal Blood decided to name their album Royal Blood and I'm ok with it. I describe them as The Black Keys meets Jack White. Probably my favorite album of 2014
Favorite tracks:
Out of the Black
Loose Change
Ten Tonne Skeleton
I do have a "soundtrack" for the year, but it's actually quite poor and I don't enjoy it that much. And I'll be listening to Bing Crosby and Frank Sinatra for the rest of the year.
And that damn Mariah Carey song.
Monday, October 20, 2014
Hazy blur...
I'm here. I'm alive. But I can't tell you anything that's happened in these last 3 months. Everything has changed. Our house, our routines...our SLEEP. We're both tired. And Miles doesn't even wake up that much. I just wake up and anticipate him waking so I sit there awake, waiting. And nothing happens. He finally woke up at 4am today to eat. But I'd been awake at 1:16am, 2:30am and 3:35am. I'm getting a big ol' latte soon.
The post-partum period was weird. I'll be honest. I wasn't immediately in love with the baby the second they placed him on my chest. That probably sounds horrible. I felt horrible. I wanted to have that rush of emotion that everyone talks about. Instead I was suddenly in charge of this little creature that was all take and no give. I mourned for my old life. I don't handle change well and duuuhh, having a baby is a big change. I may not have handled it with a lot of grace.
I've never resented my baby. Even when he was 3 weeks old and waking every hour, I didn't get mad at him. He was (is) tiny and helpless. But they aren't joking when they say that even finding time to pee is challenging. Matt and I ate dinner in shifts. Eventually started taking shifts at night. I'd planned on doing all the night feedings while I was on leave. That only lasted a few nights before I was desperate for help. And sleep. So Matt would take first shift and let me get a few hours of sleep.
Now, Miles sleeps in his crib. He has since we moved into the new house. And I, of course, totally obsessed about how awful the transition from his Rock n Play was going to be. But the first night I put him in there, he just slept. I'm really good at hypothesizing about how bad something will be only to have it turn out perfectly fine.
Miles is tiny and smiley. He was only in the 20th percentile, weight-wise, at his last appointment. He's 14 weeks old and barely out of newborn clothes. He smiles all day long unless you hold up a camera to take his picture. Then you get an infant version of Resting Bitch Face.
He'll lay in his crib and just "talk." Squeal and chirp and coo. It's cute for about 5 minutes, but at 3am, it gets pretty not cute. But when I go in his room and he's SO happy to see me...I can't be annoyed. I turn into a puddle.
He started laughing on Oct 12. Two days shy of 3 months. He loves to chew on his hands. And kick his little baby legs. He'll hold his squeaky penguin if I hand it to him. I'll pull him into a sitting position and his face lights up. He seriously thinks he's doing it on his own. And pretty soon, he will. That is the strongest tiny baby.
He smiles biggest for his daddy and I can't even be jealous. It's so stinkin' adorable.
The post-partum period was weird. I'll be honest. I wasn't immediately in love with the baby the second they placed him on my chest. That probably sounds horrible. I felt horrible. I wanted to have that rush of emotion that everyone talks about. Instead I was suddenly in charge of this little creature that was all take and no give. I mourned for my old life. I don't handle change well and duuuhh, having a baby is a big change. I may not have handled it with a lot of grace.
I've never resented my baby. Even when he was 3 weeks old and waking every hour, I didn't get mad at him. He was (is) tiny and helpless. But they aren't joking when they say that even finding time to pee is challenging. Matt and I ate dinner in shifts. Eventually started taking shifts at night. I'd planned on doing all the night feedings while I was on leave. That only lasted a few nights before I was desperate for help. And sleep. So Matt would take first shift and let me get a few hours of sleep.
Now, Miles sleeps in his crib. He has since we moved into the new house. And I, of course, totally obsessed about how awful the transition from his Rock n Play was going to be. But the first night I put him in there, he just slept. I'm really good at hypothesizing about how bad something will be only to have it turn out perfectly fine.
Miles is tiny and smiley. He was only in the 20th percentile, weight-wise, at his last appointment. He's 14 weeks old and barely out of newborn clothes. He smiles all day long unless you hold up a camera to take his picture. Then you get an infant version of Resting Bitch Face.
He'll lay in his crib and just "talk." Squeal and chirp and coo. It's cute for about 5 minutes, but at 3am, it gets pretty not cute. But when I go in his room and he's SO happy to see me...I can't be annoyed. I turn into a puddle.
He started laughing on Oct 12. Two days shy of 3 months. He loves to chew on his hands. And kick his little baby legs. He'll hold his squeaky penguin if I hand it to him. I'll pull him into a sitting position and his face lights up. He seriously thinks he's doing it on his own. And pretty soon, he will. That is the strongest tiny baby.
He smiles biggest for his daddy and I can't even be jealous. It's so stinkin' adorable.
Friday, July 25, 2014
Miles' Birth Story
The last few weeks of pregnancy, I found myself reading lots and lots of birth stories on different baby forums. Some were terrifying and some I was already jealous of because they were so awesome. Mine did not start off awesome, but actually turned out to be really great.
So I played 9 holes of golf at 39 weeks pregnant. It was an "accounting outing" and it was every bit as fun as it sounds. No really, I did enjoy myself. And I'm a hell of a putter. We joked that bouncing around in the golf cart was going to send me into labor. It did not.
The next day, Saturday July 12, was this big full moon that everyone had been chattering about. I'd decided that all the chatter would basically jinx any chance I had of having a baby that day.
Matt and I went on our usual Saturday lunch date at a BBQ place. I didn't have much appetite (WTF???) so I brought most of mine home.
At about 6pm, I started having some odd pains. Mainly Braxton-Hicks, but with some fun back pain mixed in. By 8pm, I was totally having back labor and it was AWFUL. They weren't regular contractions (4-7 minutes apart) and only lasted around 45 seconds, so not only was it back labor, it was false labor. Meaning I was in pain for NOTHING.
I called L&D around midnight because there was seriously no way I was going to be able to sleep. They had the on-call doctor call me and she groggily (I'm bitter at this woman, BTW) told me to drink a lot of water and lay on my left side and see if they go away.
THEY DIDN'T.
All night, I was bouncing on my exercise ball, watching Teen Mom (forgive me, Father) and trying some technique I'd found on spinningbabies.com to get him off my spine. It failed. Horribly.
At 6am, I told Matt to take me to L&D so I could at least get some pain meds and sleep. I wasn't the least bit dilated, so they gave me Vicodin and sent me home to sleep. They said I should be able to sleep about 8 hours and hopefully my labor would progress while I slept.
Three hours later, I was back where I started. Freakin' writhing in pain.
I lasted until 8pm on Sunday July 13 before asking Matt to take me back to L&D. They put me in a labor room while they did God knows what. You guys. If you've never had back labor, allow me to inform you of its awfulness. I finally just let myself scream through contractions while hunched over the labor bed. I've never known pain like that. BUT! I did not cry. Wait...did I cry? Ok, maybe I cried.
An angel of mercy descended on me, and I was admitted. I was only at 3-4 centimeters, but they let me get an epidural and it was blissful until it stopped working on my left side. By about 5am, they told me start pushing. Just some "practice" pushes. After pushing for about 4 contractions, I decided they were scheming me and these were NOT practice pushes.
My doctor started putting a gown and cap on and they wheeled in this huge tray of what looked like tools used to prepare sushi.
I think I pushed for two more contractions. I felt his little head pop out like Mr. Bucket and I just started laughing hysterically because it was OVER. She told me to look down, and two beady little peepers were staring at me.
We did skin-to-skin for about an hour and then weighed and measured our little (and I mean little!!!) baby boy.
Then my L&D nurse started pressing on my stomach and I punched her in the arm.
Then she tried to help me to the bathroom and I peed all over the floor. I'm sure she was sad to see me go. Thanks for all your help, Denise!
Baby Miles arrived July 14 at 5:59am, weighing in at 6 pounds 3 ounces. I would like to thank him for coming a few days early. However, I may never forget the back labor, so he has a lot of making up to do...
Just kidding!
So I played 9 holes of golf at 39 weeks pregnant. It was an "accounting outing" and it was every bit as fun as it sounds. No really, I did enjoy myself. And I'm a hell of a putter. We joked that bouncing around in the golf cart was going to send me into labor. It did not.
The next day, Saturday July 12, was this big full moon that everyone had been chattering about. I'd decided that all the chatter would basically jinx any chance I had of having a baby that day.
Matt and I went on our usual Saturday lunch date at a BBQ place. I didn't have much appetite (WTF???) so I brought most of mine home.
At about 6pm, I started having some odd pains. Mainly Braxton-Hicks, but with some fun back pain mixed in. By 8pm, I was totally having back labor and it was AWFUL. They weren't regular contractions (4-7 minutes apart) and only lasted around 45 seconds, so not only was it back labor, it was false labor. Meaning I was in pain for NOTHING.
I called L&D around midnight because there was seriously no way I was going to be able to sleep. They had the on-call doctor call me and she groggily (I'm bitter at this woman, BTW) told me to drink a lot of water and lay on my left side and see if they go away.
THEY DIDN'T.
All night, I was bouncing on my exercise ball, watching Teen Mom (forgive me, Father) and trying some technique I'd found on spinningbabies.com to get him off my spine. It failed. Horribly.
At 6am, I told Matt to take me to L&D so I could at least get some pain meds and sleep. I wasn't the least bit dilated, so they gave me Vicodin and sent me home to sleep. They said I should be able to sleep about 8 hours and hopefully my labor would progress while I slept.
Three hours later, I was back where I started. Freakin' writhing in pain.
I lasted until 8pm on Sunday July 13 before asking Matt to take me back to L&D. They put me in a labor room while they did God knows what. You guys. If you've never had back labor, allow me to inform you of its awfulness. I finally just let myself scream through contractions while hunched over the labor bed. I've never known pain like that. BUT! I did not cry. Wait...did I cry? Ok, maybe I cried.
An angel of mercy descended on me, and I was admitted. I was only at 3-4 centimeters, but they let me get an epidural and it was blissful until it stopped working on my left side. By about 5am, they told me start pushing. Just some "practice" pushes. After pushing for about 4 contractions, I decided they were scheming me and these were NOT practice pushes.
My doctor started putting a gown and cap on and they wheeled in this huge tray of what looked like tools used to prepare sushi.
I think I pushed for two more contractions. I felt his little head pop out like Mr. Bucket and I just started laughing hysterically because it was OVER. She told me to look down, and two beady little peepers were staring at me.
We did skin-to-skin for about an hour and then weighed and measured our little (and I mean little!!!) baby boy.
Then my L&D nurse started pressing on my stomach and I punched her in the arm.
Then she tried to help me to the bathroom and I peed all over the floor. I'm sure she was sad to see me go. Thanks for all your help, Denise!
Baby Miles arrived July 14 at 5:59am, weighing in at 6 pounds 3 ounces. I would like to thank him for coming a few days early. However, I may never forget the back labor, so he has a lot of making up to do...
Just kidding!
Friday, June 13, 2014
35 Weeks
Even though today is Friday the 13th and a full moon, I'm pretty sure he's hanging tight.
How far along: 35 weeks
Baby is the size of: A honeydew melon! Over
18 inches long and 5 ¼ pounds.
Total weight gain/loss: gain of 20 lbs. Doctor told me yesterday to not gain more
than another 2.5 to 5 pounds. So I’m
foregoing cupcakes this weekend (whimper).
Maternity clothes: Mainly maxi
dresses/maxi skirts with maternity tanks.
Even my maternity pants are uncomfortable at this point.
Stretch marks: No, but I do have diastasis recti. My ab muscles form a big ridge down the middle
of my belly. Let me know and I’ll text
you a picture. It’s strangely cool.
Sleep: Still sleeping well. He’s set up camp on my sciatic nerve
(literally getting on my nerves!) so walking isn’t much fun…
Best moment this week: The half a beer I had
Wednesday night. It was a really
grapefruity IPA which I usually don’t like, but it tasted like Heaven’s nectar.
Miss Anything: Walking normally, booze, not having to
monitor my caffeine intake.
Movement: Oh lawd…He’s transverse and sunny side
up. Basically his position is
awful. He moves all the freakin’ time,
but never actually flips positions. He
has two weeks to get his act together before they move him manually (which
sounds completely dreadful).
Food cravings: I eat a lot of oranges and bananas to
hopefully balance out the ice cream sandwiches, Golden Grahams and Fudge Stripe
cookies. Although I haven’t had cookies
or Golden Grahams in two days!
Anything making you queasy or sick: Hot coffee. Still. It sounds so disgusting.
Have you started to show yet: Oh mos def. The guy at Subway said “Welcome to Subway!”
to my belly yesterday.
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: Nah.
Some painless Braxton-Hicks, but that’s about it.
Belly Button in or out: If I wear something
super tight (as we all do at 8 months pregnant), then you can see a tiny bit of
an outie. Otherwise, it’s basically
non-existent.
Wedding rings on or off: On. FOREVER.
Happy or Moody: Anxious!
Not about labor and delivery, but about life with a new baby and family
spread across the country and grandparents in poor health…
Looking forward to: A burger and fries tomorrow. Screw weight gain.
Friday, May 23, 2014
32 Weeks
This definitely won't be a weekly thing because I'm too lazy, but I thought it would be fun to do at least once.
How far along: 32 weeks
Baby is the size of: A jicama (wft?) 3 ¾ pounds
and 16.7 inches.
Total weight gain/loss: gain of 15lbs!
Maternity clothes: Maternity tops and
normal pants. Although my maternity tops
are quickly becoming too short. So I’m
currently mad at maternity clothes.
Stretch marks: No
Sleep: Good sleep thanks to my Snoogle! I do wake up occasionally cause my hips
freakin’ hurt, but that’s it.
Best moment this week: I’m gonna bet it was
something food related…and today is the Friday before a 3-day weekend.
Miss Anything: Buckling my sandals without almost dying,
LIQUOR, BREATHING, being able to hold my pee
Movement: YES and I have mixed feelings about
it. I love feeling him move, but he’s
getting so big that it keeps me from sleeping sometimes! And it’s creepy seeing a leg travel across
your stomach…
Food cravings: Basically all sweets which is so weird
because I’ve never had a sweet tooth.
And red meat. Probably because I’m
anemic.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Hot coffee. How awful is that? I thought I was past the coffee aversion and I
love an iced latte, but hot coffee makes me want to puke.
Have you started to show yet: Gawd yes. But I guess I'm oblivious to it because when people ask when I'm due, I look around for the person their talking to before I realize it's me.
Gender: BOY!
Labor Signs: I actually don’t know any besides
contractions and your water breaking, so I’ll say none.
Belly Button in or out: Non-existent most of
the time, but out after a big meal. I
don’t get it either.
Wedding rings on or off: On
Happy or Moody: Everything under the spectrum. Some seriously violent mood swings have been
happening. They are usually remedied
with food.
Looking forward to: This child dropping so
I can breathe!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Miles' Nursery
My sweet mother flew out last week to help me with the disaster that once was the nursery. For the last 3 months, this room had been a crib and a huge pile of clothes. And then Jan worked her magic.
I'm not a theme person. I don't do themes or tons of matchy-matchy stuff. We painted this room around Labor Day in 2012 with the intention it would eventually be the nursery. I chose the color Kind Green by SW because I tend to like color and then I'll box myself in trying to use accessories that aren't overwhelming. I went back and forth between owls and elephants before deciding I really liked penguins.
So Miles has a penguin nursery.
My mom found the little penguin lamp and bedding. Actually, she found the picture that's over the crib too...so yeah, Jan did everything. The "M" on the bookshelf was from our wedding. Reduce, reuse, recycle.
I thought about putting an orchid or other plant on that little nightstand for staging purposes, but in reality, that little table will be covered in bottles, both baby and wine. So I'm just keeping it real. Matt spoiled me by getting me the glider I really wanted. It's like a giant butt cloud.
I went overboard buying clothes the minute we found out we were having a boy. St. Jan washed and hung everything while I sat in the Butt Cloud, nursing a hemorrhoid that I eventually named Stan.
All we need is a travel system, a monitor and a baby. Hopefully they'll all come in that order...
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Oh dear
So I have 11 (or less!) weeks until this bouncing baby boy arrives.
My face is mostly back to normal. I haven't thrown up in 11 days. Still sleeping like a log (wtf does that even mean?).
No Braxton-Hicks, just some round ligament pain. He likes to burrow under my ribs and run his hand (foot?) down them like a xylophone. He currently prefers to be waaaaay over on the right side, as evidenced by the doctor's difficulty in finding his heartbeat yesterday. And while he's measuring perfectly, I have gained 9 pounds in a month.
NINE POUNDS.
Granted I'd really only gained about 4 pounds since getting pregnant. I'd lost about 15 pounds from running and then I stopped running in August or so and gained it back. So I'm not technically counting those pounds because I would've gained them anyway since I started working again and quit taking the MS drug that gave me the energy to actually run.
Yes, I am rationalizing but you have to admit that I'm being rational.
AND I'm still wearing my regular pants. And most of them fasten without a rubber band.
I'm just really confused by these 9 pounds. And my doctor told me to buy a scale. :( I feel legitimately fat-shamed.
I'm gonna say that 9 pounds is boobs. Cause talk about obscene...
My rings still fit and my belly button hasn't popped. No stretch marks. I am anemic (ooops), but I passed my glucose tolerance test. It was kind of brutal.
I'm constantly out of breath. Walking from the car to my desk finds me huffing and puffing. I go walking when I'm not too queasy and I get so winded I can't talk. It's a constant annoyance!
He's kicking the desk as I type this. I've angered it.
My face is mostly back to normal. I haven't thrown up in 11 days. Still sleeping like a log (wtf does that even mean?).
No Braxton-Hicks, just some round ligament pain. He likes to burrow under my ribs and run his hand (foot?) down them like a xylophone. He currently prefers to be waaaaay over on the right side, as evidenced by the doctor's difficulty in finding his heartbeat yesterday. And while he's measuring perfectly, I have gained 9 pounds in a month.
NINE POUNDS.
Granted I'd really only gained about 4 pounds since getting pregnant. I'd lost about 15 pounds from running and then I stopped running in August or so and gained it back. So I'm not technically counting those pounds because I would've gained them anyway since I started working again and quit taking the MS drug that gave me the energy to actually run.
Yes, I am rationalizing but you have to admit that I'm being rational.
AND I'm still wearing my regular pants. And most of them fasten without a rubber band.
I'm just really confused by these 9 pounds. And my doctor told me to buy a scale. :( I feel legitimately fat-shamed.
I'm gonna say that 9 pounds is boobs. Cause talk about obscene...
My rings still fit and my belly button hasn't popped. No stretch marks. I am anemic (ooops), but I passed my glucose tolerance test. It was kind of brutal.
I'm constantly out of breath. Walking from the car to my desk finds me huffing and puffing. I go walking when I'm not too queasy and I get so winded I can't talk. It's a constant annoyance!
He's kicking the desk as I type this. I've angered it.
Monday, March 17, 2014
The one with all the whining...
I try not to complain a lot. Really, I do. I'm not exactly known for my compassion so it'd be silly if I was always seeking it from other people.
But pregnancy does not agree with me.
I'm still puking at 22 weeks. Not every day, but I'm still queasy in the mornings and sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll call Earl. This past Saturday, I had to make a call to ol' Earl while riding down the road to lunch. It went down my shirt. It got in my hair. Poor Matt. Just...poor Matt.
And apparently, I don't have a lot of room for my tum tum so if I eat too much, I subsequently hurl. Wasted some good pot roast the other night...
I've had two "conditions" that seem to not be talked about a lot in the pregnant world.
First of which was pregnancy gingivitis, which I could live with. It just looked like a murder scene when I brushed my teeth. The dentist said that it's because pregnancy hormones are sugar-based so bacteria looooove to feast on it. That is the only interesting thing about that matter.
The second one being corneal edema. Per the Google (and confirmed by my brother), when pregnant your corneas can RETAIN WATER making them thicker and causing your contacts to not fit right. So I've been wearing glasses the last week. Cause of my FAT CORNEAS.
I also managed to have a slight MS flare last week where the right side of my face was droopy and numb. I smiled weird and that was the only noticeable symptom. Now I have feeling and strength again, but my eyelid twitches all day, erry day. I'm hoping (PRAYING) that it's just nerves re-routing and not nerve damage. One side of my face looks like it's in a perpetual state of sneezing.
The literal cherry on top is the cherry angioma on my lip. A big, red dome-shaped blob on my lip that's filled with blood and bleeds everywhere if it's even slightly ruptured. It's not pregnancy related because the god-forsaken thing has been there since about June. It just shrinks down sometimes, but never freakin' goes away. Again per the Google, it can be removed if found "cosmetically unsavory."
It's unsavory in every way.
In non-whining news, El Guapo kicks all day. Like a champ. And I love him.
I also love foooooood.
My favorite things currently:
-Golden Grahams (there's nothing like the first 2 bowls after dinner)
-Greek yogurt
-Brussel sprouts (right?!?!)
-Cold tomatoes on my turkey sandwich (yeah I still eat deli meat. JUDGE.)
-Orange juice. Which is apparently laden with sugar so I'm cutting back on the OJ until after my glucose screening test.
And there's never a moment in the day that I don't crave chocolate cake.
I may have gone a little overboard on the clothes shopping for the El Guapo. He may have 20 onesies. And 20 sleepers. And 20+ outfits (including baby cargo jeans). I've curtailed that for now since we haven't bought a lot of things he actually needs. Or...anything he actually needs, really.
Oh, Guap. Please be patient with me.
But pregnancy does not agree with me.
I'm still puking at 22 weeks. Not every day, but I'm still queasy in the mornings and sometimes, out of nowhere, I'll call Earl. This past Saturday, I had to make a call to ol' Earl while riding down the road to lunch. It went down my shirt. It got in my hair. Poor Matt. Just...poor Matt.
And apparently, I don't have a lot of room for my tum tum so if I eat too much, I subsequently hurl. Wasted some good pot roast the other night...
I've had two "conditions" that seem to not be talked about a lot in the pregnant world.
First of which was pregnancy gingivitis, which I could live with. It just looked like a murder scene when I brushed my teeth. The dentist said that it's because pregnancy hormones are sugar-based so bacteria looooove to feast on it. That is the only interesting thing about that matter.
The second one being corneal edema. Per the Google (and confirmed by my brother), when pregnant your corneas can RETAIN WATER making them thicker and causing your contacts to not fit right. So I've been wearing glasses the last week. Cause of my FAT CORNEAS.
I also managed to have a slight MS flare last week where the right side of my face was droopy and numb. I smiled weird and that was the only noticeable symptom. Now I have feeling and strength again, but my eyelid twitches all day, erry day. I'm hoping (PRAYING) that it's just nerves re-routing and not nerve damage. One side of my face looks like it's in a perpetual state of sneezing.
The literal cherry on top is the cherry angioma on my lip. A big, red dome-shaped blob on my lip that's filled with blood and bleeds everywhere if it's even slightly ruptured. It's not pregnancy related because the god-forsaken thing has been there since about June. It just shrinks down sometimes, but never freakin' goes away. Again per the Google, it can be removed if found "cosmetically unsavory."
It's unsavory in every way.
In non-whining news, El Guapo kicks all day. Like a champ. And I love him.
I also love foooooood.
My favorite things currently:
-Golden Grahams (there's nothing like the first 2 bowls after dinner)
-Greek yogurt
-Brussel sprouts (right?!?!)
-Cold tomatoes on my turkey sandwich (yeah I still eat deli meat. JUDGE.)
-Orange juice. Which is apparently laden with sugar so I'm cutting back on the OJ until after my glucose screening test.
And there's never a moment in the day that I don't crave chocolate cake.
I may have gone a little overboard on the clothes shopping for the El Guapo. He may have 20 onesies. And 20 sleepers. And 20+ outfits (including baby cargo jeans). I've curtailed that for now since we haven't bought a lot of things he actually needs. Or...anything he actually needs, really.
Oh, Guap. Please be patient with me.
Tuesday, February 4, 2014
Kiddo
The last few months have been a blur of sleep and vomit, so I figured I'd write down what few details I remember for future reference. Although, it is definitely too soon to even think about doing this again.
I digress.
I really like to drink wine while cooking dinner. So on a Sunday night in November (Nov 3rd maybe?) I'd been swigging some pinot grigio and decided it'd be fun to pee on a stick. Because why not. I actually put the test down somewhere (probably near food, knowing me) and continued my completely inappropriate text convo with Misti and Judith. At some point, I remembered that darn test, picked it up and saw two lines staring at me. I was NOT immediately excited because I had a belly full of wine and that can't be good for the zygote. Matt was pretty indifferent about it and I don't blame him. It's hard to believe a little plastic stick that you bought at Safeway. I got on the Google (duh) and determined my due date is July 18.
Life went on as normal for another week and a half. The day I hit 5 weeks, I started feeling like complete and utter shit. There's no other way to say it. It was awful, second only to an MS relapse. So I effectively ruined our Thanksgiving trip to Seattle by 1) not wanting to leave our hotel room, and 2) barfing all the way down 6th Street. So, so miserable. Sorry, Matt.
I finally told my co-worker at 8 weeks because I desperately needed to complain to someone. Plus, I think I was looking kind of suspicious by running to the bathroom 2938472392233 times a day.
I flew to Dallas at 10 weeks and it wasn't bad. Christmas was good. Telling family was good. Flying home was pretty sucky only because it's a freakin' long flight and Matt and I got split up on the plane. THANKS, OBAMA.
January wasn't too awful. Heard the heartbeat and had an ultrasound so it was nice to know there's actually something in there and I'm not shouting groceries for nothing.
Now that the nausea is fading, I just want to eat. I love Golden Grahams. I love oranges and orange juice and banana peppers (not altogether). Subway clubs are so delicious I could cry.
We don't find out the gender until Feb 26th (Dayton or Sandrine?) so I'm just biding my time until I know whether to buy pink or blue stuff.
Thanks to Zofran and our Temperpedic mattress, things are going well. I can't hide the fat anymore. My ribs hurt a lot. But, seriously, everything has gone so well that I'm kind of in disbelief.
It'll be fun when UPS drops off a baby for me in July. That's how they get here, right?
I digress.
I really like to drink wine while cooking dinner. So on a Sunday night in November (Nov 3rd maybe?) I'd been swigging some pinot grigio and decided it'd be fun to pee on a stick. Because why not. I actually put the test down somewhere (probably near food, knowing me) and continued my completely inappropriate text convo with Misti and Judith. At some point, I remembered that darn test, picked it up and saw two lines staring at me. I was NOT immediately excited because I had a belly full of wine and that can't be good for the zygote. Matt was pretty indifferent about it and I don't blame him. It's hard to believe a little plastic stick that you bought at Safeway. I got on the Google (duh) and determined my due date is July 18.
Life went on as normal for another week and a half. The day I hit 5 weeks, I started feeling like complete and utter shit. There's no other way to say it. It was awful, second only to an MS relapse. So I effectively ruined our Thanksgiving trip to Seattle by 1) not wanting to leave our hotel room, and 2) barfing all the way down 6th Street. So, so miserable. Sorry, Matt.
I finally told my co-worker at 8 weeks because I desperately needed to complain to someone. Plus, I think I was looking kind of suspicious by running to the bathroom 2938472392233 times a day.
I flew to Dallas at 10 weeks and it wasn't bad. Christmas was good. Telling family was good. Flying home was pretty sucky only because it's a freakin' long flight and Matt and I got split up on the plane. THANKS, OBAMA.
January wasn't too awful. Heard the heartbeat and had an ultrasound so it was nice to know there's actually something in there and I'm not shouting groceries for nothing.
Now that the nausea is fading, I just want to eat. I love Golden Grahams. I love oranges and orange juice and banana peppers (not altogether). Subway clubs are so delicious I could cry.
We don't find out the gender until Feb 26th (Dayton or Sandrine?) so I'm just biding my time until I know whether to buy pink or blue stuff.
Thanks to Zofran and our Temperpedic mattress, things are going well. I can't hide the fat anymore. My ribs hurt a lot. But, seriously, everything has gone so well that I'm kind of in disbelief.
It'll be fun when UPS drops off a baby for me in July. That's how they get here, right?
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Soundtrack of 2013
I'm late this year, but it's due to the tiny baby in my belly. Best excuse ever.
2013 was a crap year, music-wise. The only albums worth a listen all year were The National's "Trouble Will Find Me" and Frightened Rabbit's "Pedestrian Verse." Everything else was 100% meeehhhhh.
My Top Songs of 2013:
The Weight of Us - Sanders Bohlke
Inbread Evil - Boondox
I Made a Resolution - Sea Wolf
All of Me - John Legend (awwwww)
My Song 5 - Haim
101 Vultures - Alex Winston
Country Queen - Night Moves
By Your Hand - Los Campesinos!
Youth - Daughter
End of All Time - Stars of Track & Field
The Ocean - The Bravery (probably my most listened to song of the year)
Not in Love - Olin & The Moon
All I Want - Kodaline
Just a Fool - Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton (I knooooowwwww)
Slowly - Barcelona
Many of Horror - Biffy Clyro
I Should Live in Salt - The National
Sea of Love - The National
This is the Last Time - The National
Slipped - The National
City Middle - The National
Hip Hop Kids - Portugal. The Man
Atomic Man - Portugal. The Man
Purple Yellow Red and Blud - Portugal. The Man
My Homies Still - Lil Wayne (what?)
Slow Show - The National
Time to Run - Lord Huron
Royals - Lorde
Young Blood - The Naked and Famous
Jump Into the Fog - The Wombats
Life Boat - Early Morning Rebel
Bartholomew - The Silent Comedy
Oblivion - M83 (omgggg)
Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? - Arctic Monkeys
Trembling Hands - The Temper Trap
Full Circle - Half Moon Run
No Rest - Dry the River
R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys (they have so many questions)
If the Creek Don't Rise - Dylan LeBlanc
Human - Daughter
Landfill - Daughter
Candles - Daughter
Home - Daughter
Medicine - Daughter
Tennis Court - Lorde
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - Sleeping at Last
Flashbulb Eyes - Arcade Fire
Fight Song - The Appleseed Cast
Holy - Frightened Rabbit
The Woodpile - Frightened Rabbit
Late March, Death March - Frightened Rabbit
December's Traditions - Frightened Rabbit
Dead Now - Frightened Rabbit
State Hospital - Frightened Rabbit
Nitrous Gas - Frightened Rabbit
The Oil Slick - Frightened Rabbit (ok basically the whole album)
Demons - The National
Don't Swallow the Cap - The National
I Need My Girl - The National
Acts of Man - Frightened Rabbit
The Story I Heard - Blind Pilot
Broken Heart - Dr. Dog
You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Keaton Henson
I made it through that whole list without puking!
2013 was a crap year, music-wise. The only albums worth a listen all year were The National's "Trouble Will Find Me" and Frightened Rabbit's "Pedestrian Verse." Everything else was 100% meeehhhhh.
My Top Songs of 2013:
The Weight of Us - Sanders Bohlke
Inbread Evil - Boondox
I Made a Resolution - Sea Wolf
All of Me - John Legend (awwwww)
My Song 5 - Haim
101 Vultures - Alex Winston
Country Queen - Night Moves
By Your Hand - Los Campesinos!
Youth - Daughter
End of All Time - Stars of Track & Field
The Ocean - The Bravery (probably my most listened to song of the year)
Not in Love - Olin & The Moon
All I Want - Kodaline
Just a Fool - Christina Aguilera and Blake Shelton (I knooooowwwww)
Slowly - Barcelona
Many of Horror - Biffy Clyro
I Should Live in Salt - The National
Sea of Love - The National
This is the Last Time - The National
Slipped - The National
City Middle - The National
Hip Hop Kids - Portugal. The Man
Atomic Man - Portugal. The Man
Purple Yellow Red and Blud - Portugal. The Man
My Homies Still - Lil Wayne (what?)
Slow Show - The National
Time to Run - Lord Huron
Royals - Lorde
Young Blood - The Naked and Famous
Jump Into the Fog - The Wombats
Life Boat - Early Morning Rebel
Bartholomew - The Silent Comedy
Oblivion - M83 (omgggg)
Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? - Arctic Monkeys
Trembling Hands - The Temper Trap
Full Circle - Half Moon Run
No Rest - Dry the River
R U Mine? - Arctic Monkeys (they have so many questions)
If the Creek Don't Rise - Dylan LeBlanc
Human - Daughter
Landfill - Daughter
Candles - Daughter
Home - Daughter
Medicine - Daughter
Tennis Court - Lorde
I'm Gonna Be (500 Miles) - Sleeping at Last
Flashbulb Eyes - Arcade Fire
Fight Song - The Appleseed Cast
Holy - Frightened Rabbit
The Woodpile - Frightened Rabbit
Late March, Death March - Frightened Rabbit
December's Traditions - Frightened Rabbit
Dead Now - Frightened Rabbit
State Hospital - Frightened Rabbit
Nitrous Gas - Frightened Rabbit
The Oil Slick - Frightened Rabbit (ok basically the whole album)
Demons - The National
Don't Swallow the Cap - The National
I Need My Girl - The National
Acts of Man - Frightened Rabbit
The Story I Heard - Blind Pilot
Broken Heart - Dr. Dog
You Don't Know How Lucky You Are - Keaton Henson
I made it through that whole list without puking!
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Sharing Spoons: I didn't do great.
But here me out. I really shouldn't have set such lofty goals. And I'm gonna play the MS card.
1) Physical - So for some reason, I found it necessary to set a physical goal that I have basically no control over. I don't know if I'm pregnant, but my boobs have been sore for days (sorry) so I'm hoping that's a good sign. At the same time, I'm not getting my hopes up cause I think I got some things confused, timing-wise. This crap is complicated. So let's just say October's physical goal was moot.
November goal: Keep going for walks on my lunch hour. Whenever I was running, I was either 1) unemployed, 2) on Tysabri, or 3) both. Now I'm working again and no longer able to take Tysabri which did wonders for my energy level. So now I'm back to being tired all.the.time. But I have been going for walks on my lunch break and I quite enjoy them. Even though I can't even walk for more than 10-20 minutes.
And that wasn't even the goal I'm playing the MS card on!
2) Spiritual - I was supposed to memorize James 1 in October. It's been a while since I've tried to memorize anything and I sadly discovered that I no longer have the cognitive ability to memorize things. At least not quickly. So I got frustrated and quit. Like a little baby.
November goal: Volunteer in the nursery at church. I enjoy doing behind-the-scenes ministry work that no one really cares about. I know the nursery isn't one of those scenarios, but I can't sing or play an instrument. However, I can change a diaper without gagging if I've had a light breakfast.
3) Emotional - This will probably be ongoing for years. It's hard to undo 20+ years of feeling guilty about everything. But, I will say it's better. So I'm gonna give myself a C++ there.
November goal: To stop replaying conversations in my head and wondering if I've said something stupid or offensive. I've never really had much of a filter, but I also tend to beat myself over every little thing I say that could've possibly been taken out of context. Not everyone speaks sarcasm and I forget that and then chastise myself. I need to just get over it and if they don't like it, they can go DIAF.
That was harsh.
4) Fun - Well, my goal was to make a new friend. I did have lunch with my new co-worker and I consider her a friend. She may not consider me one though, so B- maybe?
November goal: I've been hunting for some cognac boots. By the end of November, I hope to have cognac boots!
And a bebe in my womb.
1) Physical - So for some reason, I found it necessary to set a physical goal that I have basically no control over. I don't know if I'm pregnant, but my boobs have been sore for days (sorry) so I'm hoping that's a good sign. At the same time, I'm not getting my hopes up cause I think I got some things confused, timing-wise. This crap is complicated. So let's just say October's physical goal was moot.
November goal: Keep going for walks on my lunch hour. Whenever I was running, I was either 1) unemployed, 2) on Tysabri, or 3) both. Now I'm working again and no longer able to take Tysabri which did wonders for my energy level. So now I'm back to being tired all.the.time. But I have been going for walks on my lunch break and I quite enjoy them. Even though I can't even walk for more than 10-20 minutes.
And that wasn't even the goal I'm playing the MS card on!
2) Spiritual - I was supposed to memorize James 1 in October. It's been a while since I've tried to memorize anything and I sadly discovered that I no longer have the cognitive ability to memorize things. At least not quickly. So I got frustrated and quit. Like a little baby.
November goal: Volunteer in the nursery at church. I enjoy doing behind-the-scenes ministry work that no one really cares about. I know the nursery isn't one of those scenarios, but I can't sing or play an instrument. However, I can change a diaper without gagging if I've had a light breakfast.
3) Emotional - This will probably be ongoing for years. It's hard to undo 20+ years of feeling guilty about everything. But, I will say it's better. So I'm gonna give myself a C++ there.
November goal: To stop replaying conversations in my head and wondering if I've said something stupid or offensive. I've never really had much of a filter, but I also tend to beat myself over every little thing I say that could've possibly been taken out of context. Not everyone speaks sarcasm and I forget that and then chastise myself. I need to just get over it and if they don't like it, they can go DIAF.
That was harsh.
4) Fun - Well, my goal was to make a new friend. I did have lunch with my new co-worker and I consider her a friend. She may not consider me one though, so B- maybe?
November goal: I've been hunting for some cognac boots. By the end of November, I hope to have cognac boots!
And a bebe in my womb.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Maybe this will motivate me...
So my dear pal, Judith, posted this about "Sharing Spoons" and as someone who's usually quite apathetic and lazy, I felt momentary inspiration. It involves 4 goals (physical, spiritual, emotional and fun) accomplished over the course of a month. And since my laptop is a stone age piece of crap and I'm too impatient to post from my tablet, I had time to ponder these goals whilst my poor POS compy was booting up.
1) Physical - Well, I was trying to think of a running/exercise goal but this time of year is not adequate for outdoor exercise, so I'll focus on a much more important physical goal. Get preggers!!! Yes. It's definitely physical. And thanks to this fun little disease, September and October are our baby windows and September has come and gone with no baby. Literally, my one egg is in October's basket. Pressure is good for conception, right?
2) Spiritual - I like Judith's idea of memorizing the book of James, so I'm going with that. James 1 memorized in October. My dad was saved cause of the book of James AND his first name is James, so I've always had a fondness for it.
3) Emotional - To lay off the guilt!!! I feel guilty for everything and it's been instilled in me for my whole life. Fail a test? (and by "fail" I mean a B). Well, it's because you had some beer with friends the other night. Have some serious car trouble? Maybe you shouldn't have watched that really violent movie. This has been my life since 8th grade (not the beer part). Right now my guilt is that I'm not pregnant because I haven't been to church in a few weeks. How ridiculous is that? But breaking habits you've had most of your life is hard. So this is going to be a work in progress.
4) Fun - make a new friend. I'm ISTJ when it comes to the Meyers-Brigg's personality test and that "I" for "Introvert" might as well be as big as the sun. The thought of being home every night makes me seriously giddy. Few things stress me out more than friendships, so I haven't bothered with it much lately, but I need to continue to challenge myself. Challenge my introvert-ness!!! Typing that gave me heart palpitations, so this might be an ongoing goal as well.
As of right now, 6;48pm on Monday, October 7, I feel motivated. That should've been one of your goals, Judith! I guarantee you that motivating me to do something besides wear yoga pants and drink sangria is a much bigger accomplishment than running 60 miles in one month. TRUTH.
1) Physical - Well, I was trying to think of a running/exercise goal but this time of year is not adequate for outdoor exercise, so I'll focus on a much more important physical goal. Get preggers!!! Yes. It's definitely physical. And thanks to this fun little disease, September and October are our baby windows and September has come and gone with no baby. Literally, my one egg is in October's basket. Pressure is good for conception, right?
2) Spiritual - I like Judith's idea of memorizing the book of James, so I'm going with that. James 1 memorized in October. My dad was saved cause of the book of James AND his first name is James, so I've always had a fondness for it.
3) Emotional - To lay off the guilt!!! I feel guilty for everything and it's been instilled in me for my whole life. Fail a test? (and by "fail" I mean a B). Well, it's because you had some beer with friends the other night. Have some serious car trouble? Maybe you shouldn't have watched that really violent movie. This has been my life since 8th grade (not the beer part). Right now my guilt is that I'm not pregnant because I haven't been to church in a few weeks. How ridiculous is that? But breaking habits you've had most of your life is hard. So this is going to be a work in progress.
4) Fun - make a new friend. I'm ISTJ when it comes to the Meyers-Brigg's personality test and that "I" for "Introvert" might as well be as big as the sun. The thought of being home every night makes me seriously giddy. Few things stress me out more than friendships, so I haven't bothered with it much lately, but I need to continue to challenge myself. Challenge my introvert-ness!!! Typing that gave me heart palpitations, so this might be an ongoing goal as well.
As of right now, 6;48pm on Monday, October 7, I feel motivated. That should've been one of your goals, Judith! I guarantee you that motivating me to do something besides wear yoga pants and drink sangria is a much bigger accomplishment than running 60 miles in one month. TRUTH.
Sunday, September 1, 2013
A Year
On September 1, 2012, I woke up and couldn't walk. Couldn't walk well, at least. I put on one of my favorite tank tops and used Matt as a crutch so we could enjoy a 1pm brunch. I even managed to get my fall wreath on the door. The next day is when I decided I needed to go to urgent care because this was like Ron Burgundy. Kind of a big deal.
Has it really been a year? September was spent on the couch soaked in steroids. October was spent learning to walk again. November/December were spent catching up on alllllll that I missed while incapacitated.
My March MRI showed new lesions in my brain that put Baby Watch 2013 on hold for another 6 months. In May/June, both sets of parents came for a visit. We visited a few wineries on Hood River and Carlton and my sweet, sweet dad used some wine terms that were completely off-base and it was adorable.
June also brought job loss in the Everett house and it has been both cool and COMPLETELY UNCOOL.
The end of August brought a beautifully stable MRI, but also the discouraging news that I'm now JC positive. The JC virus is the ONE virus that can get through the blood brain barrier on this MS drug I take and it can cause PML. Which results in either severe disability or death. I was JC negative for a year and it was awesome. Now that I'm positive, I fear that Baby Watch 2013 will become Baby Watch 2014. And it's a bummer.
BUT. It's September. My fall wreath is on the door, my Pumpkin Cupcake candle is on the mantle. We have 2 Fantasy Football drafts today. Ella has fur. On her legs, at least. So this September is already light-years better than the last.
Has it really been a year? September was spent on the couch soaked in steroids. October was spent learning to walk again. November/December were spent catching up on alllllll that I missed while incapacitated.
My March MRI showed new lesions in my brain that put Baby Watch 2013 on hold for another 6 months. In May/June, both sets of parents came for a visit. We visited a few wineries on Hood River and Carlton and my sweet, sweet dad used some wine terms that were completely off-base and it was adorable.
June also brought job loss in the Everett house and it has been both cool and COMPLETELY UNCOOL.
The end of August brought a beautifully stable MRI, but also the discouraging news that I'm now JC positive. The JC virus is the ONE virus that can get through the blood brain barrier on this MS drug I take and it can cause PML. Which results in either severe disability or death. I was JC negative for a year and it was awesome. Now that I'm positive, I fear that Baby Watch 2013 will become Baby Watch 2014. And it's a bummer.
BUT. It's September. My fall wreath is on the door, my Pumpkin Cupcake candle is on the mantle. We have 2 Fantasy Football drafts today. Ella has fur. On her legs, at least. So this September is already light-years better than the last.
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Things
Things haven't been particularly great these last few months, but the Everetts are powering through. And thankfully, our least favorite month is almost over, so our favorite time of year can begin!
And because I'm trying this new thing where I'm an optimist, here are a few things I'm looking forward to:
1) The arrival of my "Leaves" candles from Bath and Body Works.
2) Hanging my fall wreath on the front door and laying out our fall table runner.
3) PUMPKIN BEER. There's only been 3 fall beers at our grocery store so far ( I know it's August!) but fall ales are my favorite and I need MORE.
4) Football!!!!!!!! College, NFL and Fantasy. The dynamic of the Everett house totally changes during football season and it's really some of the sweetest, coziest times.
5) Making soup!!! I make an awesome mushroom and roast garlic soup AND a great French onion soup and it's been far too long since I've made them.
6) Wearing hoodies! I almost put on my favorite hoodie when I went up in the hills Friday, but alas, it is still too dang hot for a hoodie. RIP Trayvon.
7) Hearing the heat kick on. I MISS hearing the heat kick on and it gets extra cozy in our living room/bedroom.
I'm going to stop at 7 cause it's the number of perfection. Plus I'm watching season 9 of Grey's Anatomy and they're playing "Time to Run" by Lord Huron so I'm hypnotized by their awesomeness.
I'm also ready to buy a few pumpkins and carve them with my love, because even though I live with him, I just cannot get enough of him.
And because I'm trying this new thing where I'm an optimist, here are a few things I'm looking forward to:
1) The arrival of my "Leaves" candles from Bath and Body Works.
2) Hanging my fall wreath on the front door and laying out our fall table runner.
3) PUMPKIN BEER. There's only been 3 fall beers at our grocery store so far ( I know it's August!) but fall ales are my favorite and I need MORE.
4) Football!!!!!!!! College, NFL and Fantasy. The dynamic of the Everett house totally changes during football season and it's really some of the sweetest, coziest times.
5) Making soup!!! I make an awesome mushroom and roast garlic soup AND a great French onion soup and it's been far too long since I've made them.
6) Wearing hoodies! I almost put on my favorite hoodie when I went up in the hills Friday, but alas, it is still too dang hot for a hoodie. RIP Trayvon.
7) Hearing the heat kick on. I MISS hearing the heat kick on and it gets extra cozy in our living room/bedroom.
I'm going to stop at 7 cause it's the number of perfection. Plus I'm watching season 9 of Grey's Anatomy and they're playing "Time to Run" by Lord Huron so I'm hypnotized by their awesomeness.
I'm also ready to buy a few pumpkins and carve them with my love, because even though I live with him, I just cannot get enough of him.
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
Oh my ears and whiskers...
I guess I've been on a posting hiatus. It's mainly because posting on a tablet is a PITA, but I'm also lazy. Never forget how lazy I am.
I really can't think of much that's happened these last 3 months...
We saw Muse play and it was awesome AND it was on a weeknight, so we proved we are still as cool as the young cats. And people. I didn't actually see any cats there.
We also saw Frightened Rabbit again in March and the girl standing behind me at the show got her boyfriend to tap me on the shoulder and tell me that my ponytail was in his girlfriend's way. I stared at him incredulously. And of course, I immediately hacked off my ponytail. I mean, it was in this poor girl's LINE OF VISION.
The humanity.
I also got a new tattoo. On my still-numb arm. And it was still unpleasant. But worth it.
On a serious note, I have had the sadz lately. Like can't-climb-out-of-this-hole-might-burst-into-tears-at-any-second kind of sad. Nothing really has happened. There was some stressful weeks at work. But everything is ok now. I just can't get un-sad and it's starting to get really lonely. I'm pretty good at being fake-happy when I need to be, but it gets tiring and I find myself being nonchalant and dismissive when people talk to me. Then I feel like a jerk. And that makes me sad(der).
I just needed to say that somewhere. When people at work say "Hey, Sommer, how are you?" I know they're just expecting a "I'm fine!" Not a drawn-out sob story about teetering on the hairy edge of a nervous breakdown. That's not well-received in a corporate setting. Even if the kegerator is out.
And today, the kegerator is NOT out.
I can't end on such a glum note.
Here's good news: Ella has some fur growing back! Fuzzy, soft baby furs! She no longer has a back that only a mother could love.
I really can't think of much that's happened these last 3 months...
We saw Muse play and it was awesome AND it was on a weeknight, so we proved we are still as cool as the young cats. And people. I didn't actually see any cats there.
We also saw Frightened Rabbit again in March and the girl standing behind me at the show got her boyfriend to tap me on the shoulder and tell me that my ponytail was in his girlfriend's way. I stared at him incredulously. And of course, I immediately hacked off my ponytail. I mean, it was in this poor girl's LINE OF VISION.
The humanity.
I also got a new tattoo. On my still-numb arm. And it was still unpleasant. But worth it.
On a serious note, I have had the sadz lately. Like can't-climb-out-of-this-hole-might-burst-into-tears-at-any-second kind of sad. Nothing really has happened. There was some stressful weeks at work. But everything is ok now. I just can't get un-sad and it's starting to get really lonely. I'm pretty good at being fake-happy when I need to be, but it gets tiring and I find myself being nonchalant and dismissive when people talk to me. Then I feel like a jerk. And that makes me sad(der).
I just needed to say that somewhere. When people at work say "Hey, Sommer, how are you?" I know they're just expecting a "I'm fine!" Not a drawn-out sob story about teetering on the hairy edge of a nervous breakdown. That's not well-received in a corporate setting. Even if the kegerator is out.
And today, the kegerator is NOT out.
I can't end on such a glum note.
Here's good news: Ella has some fur growing back! Fuzzy, soft baby furs! She no longer has a back that only a mother could love.
Friday, January 4, 2013
Soundtrack of 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
To be honest, I mainly make these lists so I can go back and listen to old songs when I'm feeling nostalgic. Which is 80% of the time.
Which reminds me, I have to turn 30 this year. I just can't.
I was suprised that my 2012 list has no: Death Cab, Mumford, Arcade Fire, Frightened Rabbit or Eisley.
I blame Portland.
In chronological order!!
Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men
From Finner - Of Monsters and Men
The Coming Days - Hello Echo
To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra
We Are Young - Fun.
Somebody that I Used to Know - Gotye
Video Games - Lana Del Ray
Born to Die - Lana Del Ray
Blue Jeans - Lana Del Ray
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Ride to California - Paper Tongues
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Hold On - Alabama Shakes
Off to the Races - Lana Del Ray
Sister Wife - Alex Winston
Fire Ant - Alex Winston
The Fold - Alex Winston
Choice Notes - Alex Winston
Lolita - Lana Del Ray
Bonfire - Childish Gambino
Fire Fly - Childish Gambino
You See Me - Childish Gambino
LES - Childish Gambino
New Slang - The Shins
Envelopes - Sleeping at Last
When We Were Young - Sucre
Lightshow - Plants & Animals
People C'mon - Delta Spirit
3 Rounds and a Sound - Blind Pilot
The High Road - Broken Bells
All Your Light [Times Like These] - Portugal. The Man
Get It Daddy - Sleeper Agent
Nantes - Beirut
Werewolf - CocoRosie
Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
All Alright - Fun.
End of All Time - Stars of Track and Field
Static Waves - Andrew Belle
Coming Up Easy - Paolo Nutini
Emmylou - First Aid Kit
Slow It Down - The Lumineers
I Found a Way - First Aid Kit
Carnival - Shovels and Rope
Brother - Lord Huron
The Lion's Roar - First Aid Kit
Stubborn Love - The Lumineers
I've been listening to First Aid Kit, Shovels and Rope, The Lumineers and Hospitality almost exclusively. Guess they'll make another appearance on the 2013 list.
I know you can't wait!!!!!
Which reminds me, I have to turn 30 this year. I just can't.
I was suprised that my 2012 list has no: Death Cab, Mumford, Arcade Fire, Frightened Rabbit or Eisley.
I blame Portland.
In chronological order!!
Little Talks - Of Monsters and Men
From Finner - Of Monsters and Men
The Coming Days - Hello Echo
To Build a Home - Cinematic Orchestra
We Are Young - Fun.
Somebody that I Used to Know - Gotye
Video Games - Lana Del Ray
Born to Die - Lana Del Ray
Blue Jeans - Lana Del Ray
A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
Ride to California - Paper Tongues
Tongue Tied - Grouplove
Hold On - Alabama Shakes
Off to the Races - Lana Del Ray
Sister Wife - Alex Winston
Fire Ant - Alex Winston
The Fold - Alex Winston
Choice Notes - Alex Winston
Lolita - Lana Del Ray
Bonfire - Childish Gambino
Fire Fly - Childish Gambino
You See Me - Childish Gambino
LES - Childish Gambino
New Slang - The Shins
Envelopes - Sleeping at Last
When We Were Young - Sucre
Lightshow - Plants & Animals
People C'mon - Delta Spirit
3 Rounds and a Sound - Blind Pilot
The High Road - Broken Bells
All Your Light [Times Like These] - Portugal. The Man
Get It Daddy - Sleeper Agent
Nantes - Beirut
Werewolf - CocoRosie
Radioactive - Imagine Dragons
All Alright - Fun.
End of All Time - Stars of Track and Field
Static Waves - Andrew Belle
Coming Up Easy - Paolo Nutini
Emmylou - First Aid Kit
Slow It Down - The Lumineers
I Found a Way - First Aid Kit
Carnival - Shovels and Rope
Brother - Lord Huron
The Lion's Roar - First Aid Kit
Stubborn Love - The Lumineers
I've been listening to First Aid Kit, Shovels and Rope, The Lumineers and Hospitality almost exclusively. Guess they'll make another appearance on the 2013 list.
I know you can't wait!!!!!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
Mistletoe and holly...
I didn't use any mistletoe or holly in my holiday decorations. The title is a lie. *Shame.
I call this year's Christmas decor "Desperation and Apathy." I'd planned to do a lot more, but got sidelined. NEXT YEAR.
Christmas mouse in the window. I've since turned it so that it's looking outside. Less creepy that way.
We finally have stockings! Only been together 5 years and we finally have stockings to hang with care.
I have a slight obsession with snowman.
And a slight obsession with putting ornaments in jars.
And a more than slight obsession with this critter.
I didn't make that bow. :(
I think I'm bordering on too many ornaments. Good problem to have.
There's a lot more pics on the Instagram. @sommereverett
That's where I post all the embarrassing stuff. And by "embarrassing" I mean "embarrassing for Ella cause 99% of the pictures are of her."
Feliz Navidad!
I call this year's Christmas decor "Desperation and Apathy." I'd planned to do a lot more, but got sidelined. NEXT YEAR.
There's a lot more pics on the Instagram. @sommereverett
That's where I post all the embarrassing stuff. And by "embarrassing" I mean "embarrassing for Ella cause 99% of the pictures are of her."
Feliz Navidad!
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Frosted window panes...
So I've been M.I.A. for a while. Thanks to this cursed disease.
Here's the Cliff's notes version of the last 3.5 months:
- Woke up September 1 and couldn't use my left arm or leg. Hobbling ensues.
- Labor Day: Finally go to urgent care and (bless them!) they scrounged up IV steriods for me.
- 3 days of steroids. Still hobbling. And also unable to eat or sleep. Purchase a 6 pack of Ensure and a cane.
- Sob hysterically due to hunger and exhaustion. Fall out of bed during the night and can't get back in.
- Get prescription for Ambien. That shit does not work.
- Start taking Ambien with a glass of wine. That shit does work.
- Sept 13: Return to work for half days. Start pounding muscle relaxers.
- October: Muscle relaxers start causing insomnia. Ambien and wine no longer effective.
- Have a panic attack at work due to muscle spasms and exhaustion. Boss holds me and strokes my hair until I calm down. Decide I have an awesome boss.
- Go to weekly physical therapy sessions to learn to walk again.
- Start a new drug that involves one monthly IV infusion instead of daily shots.
- Decide new drug is awesome
- Manage to go to a nice anniversary dinner.
- Say "eff it" to the muscle relaxers. No negative effects noted.
- Lose a lot of Fantasy Football games.
- A Thanksgiving with just me, Matt, two big steaks and a bottle of whiskey.
- A week in north Louisiana and Dallas with family. Feeling good enough to slide at the park with my niece.
- Today, I'm feeling better than I have in a long, long time.
It's good to be back.
Here's the Cliff's notes version of the last 3.5 months:
- Woke up September 1 and couldn't use my left arm or leg. Hobbling ensues.
- Labor Day: Finally go to urgent care and (bless them!) they scrounged up IV steriods for me.
- 3 days of steroids. Still hobbling. And also unable to eat or sleep. Purchase a 6 pack of Ensure and a cane.
- Sob hysterically due to hunger and exhaustion. Fall out of bed during the night and can't get back in.
- Get prescription for Ambien. That shit does not work.
- Start taking Ambien with a glass of wine. That shit does work.
- Sept 13: Return to work for half days. Start pounding muscle relaxers.
- October: Muscle relaxers start causing insomnia. Ambien and wine no longer effective.
- Have a panic attack at work due to muscle spasms and exhaustion. Boss holds me and strokes my hair until I calm down. Decide I have an awesome boss.
- Go to weekly physical therapy sessions to learn to walk again.
- Start a new drug that involves one monthly IV infusion instead of daily shots.
- Decide new drug is awesome
- Manage to go to a nice anniversary dinner.
- Say "eff it" to the muscle relaxers. No negative effects noted.
- Lose a lot of Fantasy Football games.
- A Thanksgiving with just me, Matt, two big steaks and a bottle of whiskey.
- A week in north Louisiana and Dallas with family. Feeling good enough to slide at the park with my niece.
- Today, I'm feeling better than I have in a long, long time.
It's good to be back.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Au-gust I'll Make a Blog Post...
That was a bad, bad joke. Sorry.
My parents were here for the first week of July and then Matt's parents were here for the second week, which means Matt and I had to actually do some of the things we'd been saying we would do. However, I only took pictures at the Oregon coast. The rest are on my phone and I'm too lazy to upload.
We finally got some chairs for our living room...they came precisely after all of our guests had left. Hmph.
I was watching "Shawshank Redemption."
I also made some curtains for our patio door. Ignore the mess that is my sewing corner. I don't actually sew.
This is the first room either of us have painted IN OUR LIVES. Still have lots of stuff to hang on the walls. Color check: Sherwin Williams Baize Green
I painted the half bath one Sunday afternoon. It's definitely more purple than it shows here. I was going for a purple/gray but in natural light, it is a light light purple. Color Check: Sherwin Williams Destiny
I can grow the heck out of some house plants. And dahlias apparently. Maybe in October I'll post the pictures of taken of our yard/flowers/grass. Obviously, I'm a blogging slacker.
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